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  • PAX West round-up

    6 hours ago

    FaetalFlaws RTX Guardian X3

    Sup RT friends. I hope everyone's having a good fall/back to school/slightly colder time! For me, fall means drowning in PSLs at work and wishing my apartment complex would turn the heat on (PLEASE) and more homework.

    So I got back from PAX about two weeks ago and I have some ~thoughts,~ specifically about PAX vs. RTX, so please bear with me as I go over this. (there are a lot of words, feel free to skip to the last paragraph for the point!)

    First off- I absolutely had a blast working PAX West. It was my first ever PAX, so therefore first time Enforcing, and I went into it knowing literally nobody. Not my team, not the leaders, not even the people I was rooming with. So it all could have gone horribly wrong real easy, but somehow, it didn't.

    I immediately made friends with some other Enforcers as we were doing set-up stuff, and even through we were different teams, we all made a point to keep meeting up throughout the event.

    I enjoyed my team (Satellite Theaters, which is pretty much RTX panels, which I've done before) and we had fun, although our theater was pretty quiet and never even got half-way to capping. So it was a lot of down time, and I'm not used to that at a convention. There was over an hour of downtime between the less-than-10-minutes of load time before each panel. It was exhausting, mentally, to be all hyped up to work hard for 4 days and then end up spending a lot of time sitting in front of a door and not much else.

     - (because of all this downtime I started moonlighting in the support room, and the folks working there literally made my PAX. They were so sweet and friendly and we all got along really well and they may have claimed me for their team for future PAXes. So that's awesome) 

    I also met a good number of RT community members, mostly Enforcers and some attendees (and also ran into @SailorTweek and @kriss who are both lovely ladies and it was so great to chat with y'all for a bit!) and found that I kept telling them all about RTX and how awesome it is and encouraging them to go to it if they have a chance (one poor kid in Sat Theaters with me mentioned he was an RT fan so he had to put up with me talking about RTX and RT in general for 4 days. Thanks, Zach!)

    I wandered through the exhibit hall twice, and it was cool. There were dinosaurs and dragons and also a Pokemon booth where I bought myself a new copy of Yellow because mine went through the wash about six years ago and I never got around to replacing it.

    Now, to my main point (wow, lots of exposition there, huh, who's even gonna read all that?)

    I enjoyed working PAX. It was a cool atmosphere and it was a tightly run ship and I met a lot of cool people.

    I met a lot of cool enforcers.

    I did not meet a lot of attendees.

    At RTX I talked to SO many attendees. We were on the same level, just a couple RT fans, hanging out in Austin for the highlight of our years. Everyone at RTX has the same base, we all have at least one thing in common - this company of dumb brilliant creative funny people - and everyone's eager to talk to other community members. I LOVED chatting with other attendees as we all stood around in lines - it made my RTX.

    PAX doesn't have that same community. You go to PAX for the content - the panels and tournaments and demos and super cool dragons you can ride.

    I didn't see a single panel at RTX this past July. I spent 15 minutes on the expo floor.

    I absolutely love RTX. I've been as an attendee once (2015), a Guardian twice, and I'll be a Guardian again for London.

    I go to RTX for the community. I go to RTX for the community and the friends that I've made and the friends I'm sure I'll keep meeting. I go to RTX to compliment all the awesome RWBY cosplays and to discuss our favorite shorts and to be really excited with people as they're about to meet Barbara or Ashley or Burnie or Miles.

    Going to RTX feels like coming home, and I eagerly await it each year. It's exhausting and a lot of work, but it's more than worth it. I've mentioned to friends that I'd work RTX every week if I could, and I absolutely would. 

    PAX was cool, and I'll definitely work more of them. But it also made me realize how much I love and appreciate RTX, and all the hard work from Guardians and Staff that goes into it, and how even with all that hard work, it really is the community that makes the convention. 

    So, thank you, RT community. 

    Love you,


  • At the Screwvies: Episode 91

    19 hours ago



    MADHERO: Hey everybody. So September, creepy clowns aside, started of pretty dire. Dire enough to make us join Pennywise in the sewers. At least that's how it seemed sometimes. But with clowns now both at and in the White House, there's hope, cause we actually have a nice amount of movies covering all sorts of subjects.

    STICKMAN: Hey everymetroid, I mean body.

    LARRY: Ayyyyyyyyyy what a diss

    MADHERO: Nothing but respect for the Juggalos cause 2017 is wild. But hey, we've got interesting movies to talk about, but what about the news? Surely nothing major involving one of the biggest franchises in history, right? And surely not something that has already happened ?

    STICKMAN: Is it Metroid?

    LARRY: Hey Sticky played any games recently?

    STICKMAN: Just a bit of inFamous, nothing special.




    Star Wars news!! What else is new? Well, apparently the director of Episode 9. Yeah, mere months after the whole controversy surrounding the Han Solo film losing directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller, the currently untitled third entry in the franchise’s sequel trilogy, originally to be helmed by Jurassic World and Book of Henry director Colin Trevorrow, will now be directed by J. J. Abrams, the man who brought us the sequel trilogy’s first installment, The Force Awakens.

    According to sources, Trevorrow “had an egotistical point of view” since his success with Jurassic World, and after Book of Henry’s disastrous word of mouth, producer Kathleen Kennedy finally had an excuse to fire him. Apparently he was being difficult, which feels awfully similar to the Lord and Miller situation. But I guess I’m the only person not over that. 

    ANYWAY, as rumors ran rampant over who would take over and mere days later, it was later revealed that JJ Abrams would take over duties, leading many to accuse Lucasfilm and Kennedy of taking the easy way out. I’ll admit, giving the job to Abrams is certainly a safe bet, almost too safe; but at this point, I’ll take that before any reality where Trevorrow is directing the film. Many people were hesitant at the company’s original choosing of him way back when, and now fears have somewhat been dissipated, if there’s a silver lining to this. However, it still reeks of Lucasfilms playing things a tad too safe with the franchise as a whole. Either way, we’ll have to wait a little longer to see if this shitstorm resolves itself, as all of this commotion has led to Ep. 9’s release date being pushed from May 2019 to December 2019, with the upcoming Guy Richie-led Aladdin remake taking its place in the calendar. Let’s hope The Last Jedi can get us out of our anti-SW news slump.

    MADHERO: Deja vu.

    LARRY: Yeah...sadly. Something's going on at Lucasfilm, methinks.

    STICKMAN: When you're handling one of the biggest properties in the entire world, it helps to not fuck up this much.

    MADHERO: Well I highly doubt they wanted to go through all of this AGAIN! At least this time its before production begins

    LARRY: I think we can all agree letting Trevorrow direct 9 was just a bad call. Short-sighted.

    STICKMAN: I can't really say that, not having seen what he wanted to do.

    LARRY: I said DIRECT, not write. For all I know his script is great.

    MADHERO: I'm not so much on the Trevorrow hate train as so many are on Film Twitter, but his rise was insane considering Jurassic World was good, but not spectacularly great. A movie he got after directing one perfectly fine indie.

    LARRY: ...I hated JW, so I definitely am on the hate train.

    STICKMAN: It was fun, but for me that's as good as Star Wars gets too.

    LARRY: Okay but practically speaking, to give Treverrow Ep. 9 after one smash hit?

    STICKMAN: Did it for Rogue One. And that worked out fine.

    MADHERO: Well I'd definitely put Force Awakens above it, so I'm happy that Abrams is now doing it, even if yeah, its a very safe bet.

    STICKMAN: Abrams is a great director but it would of been nice to see a fresh take.

    LARRY: Yes, that we can agree on. Kinda wish we got a different director.

    STICKMAN: I'm happy but not excited. Not that I would've been anyway.

    MADHERO: It makes sense considering the circumstance. Its interesting that they seem to start all over with the script as well.

    STICKMAN: Good news for Aladddiinn fans, I guess. Although now we hate that because one white guy's in it. So the whole thing is ruined.

    LARRY: Bad news if production needed that time haha

    MADHERO: I'm ok with Star Wars being back in December. For some reason that feels right. But hey, Episode IX will probably still be at least ok

    STICKMAN: I personally really like Star Wars being at Christmas. It feels right, even if I don't care a huge deal. Feels festive now for some reason. Like with the Harry Potter films.

    LARRY: It's a new Christmas tradition!!

    MADHERO: New Star Wars Christmas Special please

    STICKMAN: OH NO. Star Wars is cancelled forever.



    So, as you may have heard, the remake of IT landed in cinemas just over a week ago now, it garnered a fair amount of hype, and perhaps more surprisingly, mostly glowing reviews from critics. But did that all translate into the most important thing of all for a Hollywood movie....GREENSTACKS? You better believe it did, and then some. We've seen some acclaimed R rated movies hitting mainstream levels of money thanks to the likes of Deadpool paving the way, and Logan continuing the trend. IT may not have quite beaten Deadpool's R Rated opening record, but it's fair to say it made up for it in other areas. It's now *Ahem*: 

    ·        the biggest opening for a Stephen King movie,

    ·        the biggest September opening of all time,

    ·        the biggest opening 'Fall' weekend of all time and...oh yeah,

    ·        the biggest Horror movie opening of ALLLLL TIME.

    It made $123 Million in its first weekend, which is a staggering amount of money for an R rated horror movie in September of all times. The high audience appreciation has led to strong word of mouth, which is leading into another huge weekend for the film, in the regions of $60 million predicted. That's...pretty impressive, and yes, that sequel that was already coming is now greenlit, and fast-tracked. Can't imagine why. All in all that's...A SCARY GOOD OPENING. AHAH. AHAH. AHO.

    LARRY: Kinda shocked this film is as successful as it is.

    STICKMAN: Honestly I'm not. People were shitting the bed with excitement from day one. I don't get why, but I expected a lotta money

    MADHERO: I'm planning to see it next week because its now such a big deal that I might as well see why that is.

    STICKMAN: I may go see it instead of MOOTHHERR since apparently that's a load of old arse.

    MADHERO: I'm not surprised its successful. HOW SUCCESSFULL though is a whole other story. 2nd highest R rated opening is pretty crazy.

    STICKMAN: Yeah that's true. And biggest horror movie EVER?

    LARRY: Okay that's exactly what I said lol

    STICKMAN: Quiet you

    MADHERO: And hey, it seems to be an actual good movie as well. So good on them. Wonder how the sequel is going to do considering that's going to be adults facing this clown, possibly as a giant spider.

    STICKMAN: Woah spoilers. You ruined the spoopy clown movie. I'm never going to the cinema ever again.

    MADHERO: Spoiler to a 30 year old book and 27 year old miniseries thing

    LARRY: I think there was a response, so it got people in seats. Then people started LIKING IT... like, a LOT, and word of mouth helped get them their box office hoard.

    STICKMAN: The initial hype is what got people to see it opening weekend, the word of mouth is what's gonna keep it...ahh...AHHA...AFLOAT for some time to come.

    LARRY: God dammit Stix

    STICKMAN: I'm a better writer than Stephen King, confirmed.



    Sooooooo..... people who read last week's Screwvies know things got a little heated when we discussed Ed Skrein leaving the Hellboy movie following accusations of whitewashing his comic book character, who's half Japanese in the books. Once Skrein had left, Lionsgate and Millennium promised they'd find more appropriate casting for the character of Ben Daimio. And it seems, in relatively short time, they have in the form of Daniel Dae Kim, who to normal people is probably best known for his role in Lost and Hawaii Five-0 (which appropriately, he left after not getting as much as his white co-stars) and to us is best known as JOHNNY GAT, BABY! There's some slight grumblings that Dae Kim is Korean instead of Japanese, but hey, they got a cool actor who's more appropriate for the role, so win-win.

    In more Hellboy news, we got our first look at how the red guy looks as played by David Harbour, and he looks.... pretty good. Granted its a still image so there isn't much else to go off of, but Harbour is completely unrecognizable and there's a few differences between him and Ron Perlman's Hellboy, mainly the more square jaw and Undertaker style stringy hair.  We'll see how he looks in motion in January 2019, which might not be the best date considering its usually a dumping ground, but we'll see. I love the 2 Del Toro films, but am more than ready to give this new interpretation a chance.

    STICKMAN: Ah hell. Boy.

    LARRY: God on a roll today, Stix.

    STICKMAN: He sure looks like Hellboy. Like, looks good but...I feel the hair was added just to make it different? They probably put the make-up on him and were like SHIT IT'S RON PERLMAN, QUICK ADD SOME DREADS.

    MADHERO: Well you gotta do something. Also he isn't wearing those leather pants.

    STICKMAN: Damn shame. Coulda gone for some chaps.

    MADHERO: Obviously we can only really properly judge it when we see him in motion, but from this one shot he looks great.  Plus he'll probably be enhanced a bit with CG and stuff.

    LARRY: He looks like...Hellboy. That's all I really want from the design of Hellboy.

    STICKMAN: Posssssibly. I'm curious to see what kinda Hellboy movie we get this time. Neil Marshall will nail the visceral violence and the horror, but can he provide the fantasy aspects as good as Del Toro can? I dunnnoooo...

    MADHERO: As for Dae Kim as Daimio, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Not necessarily the character, cause I don't know enough about him, but I'm happy to see Dae Kim in more films. Very charismatic guy

    STICKMAN: He's a fun character actor yeah. Doesn't actually specifically solve the miscasting but is more in the right direction at least. And a good choice too.

    LARRY: I'm sure this will appease the angry masses. And for that, I am happy.

    MADHERO: Some day we'll have Johnny Gat the Motion Picture. Some day.......

    STICKMAN: Johnny who? I dunno who that is, I knew him from Hawaii Five-O.

    MADHERO: That's his Saints Row character


    MADHERO: All in all, good news for Hellboy, except for that January release date. That's a little hmmmmmm

    LARRY: Oh god.

    STICKMAN: January is a good month how many times. It's a good month for births. I hear. Don't be hatin.


    The creators of Wallace & Gromit, Chicken Run and old singularity causing friend of the show, Shaun the Sheep released the first full-length trailer for their next feature 'Early Man' this week passed, and whilst it doesn't look awful by any means..it doesn't look...amazing, either? Hrm.  Nick Park's first directorial work since 2008's latest W&G short 'A Matter of Loaf and Death', you expect a certain caliber of quality from a guy who's been Oscar nominated for every film he's made, even going up against himself at one point, and whilst Early Man is looking nice enough and has plenty of the Aardman charm, if the trailer didn't set a guy like me alight with anticipation, you do have to wonder what hope anyone else has.

    The trailer shows us the lead characters Dug (Eddie The Red Mane) and his faithful...pig...dog...Hog Nob (get it, Hob Nobs? The biscuits? No? Not in America? Okay), along with his entire caveman tribe being invaded by bronze age villain Lord Nooth, played by Tommy Hiddlestone. What follows is a series of slapstick and punnery that seems to result in a game of football between Stone and Bronze Age tribes to decide the fate of the caveman group's home. The trailer was terrible, but that's to be expected for Aardman, who've, with the exception of The Pirates, never been able to make a good trailer for their feature films, so that's not super worrying. What is worrying is just how the voice acting...and the delivery of various jokes and lines seem a bit...forced? I'm a little concerned, I'm sure it'll be good, but I want it to be GREAT. We'll see, I'll see...I'm the only one who cares.

    MADHERO: Those are some British ass cavemen and some French ass Romans

    LARRY: Not gonna lie, this didn't do a lot for me. Seemed kinda...weak.

    STICKMAN: I dunno about weak but it wasn't strong. But maybe that's just the editing.

    LARRY: ...okay well. Those words...are opposites...of each other...

    MADHERO: I thought it was cute. Nothing spectacular, but servicable.

    STICKMAN: Yeah, but it's Aaaardman. I want moooore.

    LARRY: The jokes seemed forced to me, and the editing was certainly rushed.

    STICKMAN: I think back to the W&G Curse of the Wererabbit trailer which had a similar feel. But ended up really good. So...hopefully?

    LARRY: Yeah, sure.

    MADHERO: I don't remember those trailers honestly. Could've always gone the Cars 3 route and gone super dark with it.

    STICKMAN: Oh man. Just a clip of the dog pig getting savaged in slow motion.

    MADHERO: Also its comes out in February in the US. Only problem: its opening against Black Panther


    STICKMAN: I think you all know which film's gonna  get an EARLY lead. It...it's Black Panther. Lionsgate fucked it. Again.

    MADHERO: I did not recognize Tom Hiddleston as the villain BTW. Did recognize Richard Ayoade using his Dean Learner voice and that made me miss Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

    STICKMAN: Whoever made this trailer was a FOOL. A FLIPPING FOOL.

    MADHERO: If you take away anything from this part, its that you should watch Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.

    STICKMAN: Early Man is actually a Garth Maranghi prequel.



    Soooooo.... more X-men shenanigans, cause we can't enough of those. Well, at least this has a somewhat awesome slant to it. Some of you may know Drew Goddard as Joss Whedon's protege, having worked with him as far back as Buffy. After breaking through with Cabin in the Woods, it seems like his next project was to showrun Marvel's Daredevil on Netflix, but he soon left that project to work on Sony's Sinister Six movie, then a part of the Amazing Spider-Man series. When that all fell apart, he drank away his sorrows by getting nominated for an Oscar for screenwriting The Martian together with X-men head honcho Simon Kinberg.

    It seems that connection has finally gotten him a gig at a superhero property, as he'll write and direct X-Force, a spin-off of X-men that'll follow Deadpool and Cable (so I guess a spin-off of a spin-off. Woah) as they form a more militant and extremist group of the X-men. Not much is to be said, other than that Joe Carnahan and Ryan Reynolds have already worked out a script, so that plus Goddard means it'll probably follow Deadpool's tone more than the actual books. Its personally hard to get excited over, but Goddard's involvement makes it slightly more interesting.

    STICKMAN: Oh boy. More of these things.

    MADHERO: Besides the story behind Godard finally doing a superhero thing, I gotta say that I'm honestly bored by these announcements, and I count myself as an X-men fan. It probably doesn't help that I've never ever cared about X-Force.

    STICKMAN: Deadpool was fun but he doesn't need to be in every movie ever. Are we going to do a Wolverine And then in 10 years time do a hardcore gritty drama send-off to Deadpool.

    MADHERO: Sadpool

    LARRY: The only reason I'm excited for this is because of Deadpool's involvement. But then again, if Deadpool 2 sucks, then we're fucked.

    MADHERO: It'll still make LOADSAMONEY

    STICKMAN: What made Deadpool such a HIT is that it was FRESH AND DARING. Doing like a bunch of spin-offs is like. Oops.

    LARRY: Well a dark, extremist X-Men against the good guy X-Men in a later movie could be cool. Just gotta build up to that. But like anti-heroes, not villains.

    STICKMAN: I'm bored allreadddy. What's been working for 20th Century is trying different things, Deadpool and Logan were both good stuff, X-Men Apocalypse was by the numbers and shit.

    MADHERO: Where's my fun? I want fun, which we'll hopefully get with Goddard and Reynolds writing the script

    LARRY: ...okay so you'll get your fun haha. I don't see this being by the numbers. Goddard and Reynolds, Deadpool and Cable involved, I think it could be a lot of fun.

    STICKMAN: Give me my hardcore Professor X Rated movie. AhuhAHuhuhuh.



    Sadly, we once again have to pay tribute to an actor who has passed away. Harry Dean Stanton, most well-known for performances in film (Alien, Repo Man, Pretty in Pink) and television (Twin Peaks, Big Love) passed away this past Friday at 91 from natural causes. His long career in media was ever-present, though perhaps you may have missed him. Admittedly, he was not the most prominent name in Hollywood, but what made him such a talent was the ability to transform into every role he was given, with a grit and weathered look that was hard to find in most other actors working in the medium. From dramatic classics like The Green Mile, to action thrillers like Escape From New York, Stanton’s career was one of variety and consistency. Even up until the very year of his passing, he can be seen in Twin Peaks: The Return, reprising his role of Carl Rodd. Needless to say, though you may not have taken note of him, he’s responsible for plenty of performances in some of the most well-known films and tv shows of all time, and for that alone, he will be dearly missed. Condolences to his family and friends during this saddening time. Rest in peace, Harry.

    STICKMAN: This is a damn shame.

    LARRY: Can't say I really knew him too well as an actor, but his performances are excellent.

    MADHERO: Another castmember of the Nostromo gone. This is a guy who's worked up to his 90s and continued to deliver performances till the very end. He was in the Twin Peaks finale not too long ago

    STICKMAN: He's got a film coming out this month too. A lot of people we've lost recently had been and gone from the spotlight but this guy never left.

    MADHERO: Go watch his performance in Paris, Texas. He has a monologue at the end that's simply wonderful.

    LARRY: I just might. I've heard good things.

    STICKMAN: And I mean. He was the first person to ever be killed by a Xenomorph. Not including the chestburster. What an honour, y'know? And what an awesome scene.

    MADHERO: He made a small bit part of the Avengers also surprisingly memorable.

    STICKMAN: Ah yes. He was memorable in pretty much every role he had. Big or small.

    MADHERO: "Well son, you've got a condition"

    STICKMAN: The fact he's left us so soon after his final role in Twin Peaks feels like surreal enough to be a part of that very show. Except it's not backwards and on fire.

    LARRY: He was working up until his death. Says a lot about him.

    MADHERO: While he almost never was the lead, you always recognized him and brought something to whatever he was part of. We wish his family and friends nothing but the best. RIP Harry

    STICKMAN: Be seeing you, Brett.


    MADHERO: Well, we promised some interesting movies, and hopefully we can deliver. From a highly anticipated sequel, a new animated movie and a film that got an F on Cinemascore. So that one should be fun to talk about

    LARRY: Yikes.

    STICKMAN: F stands for FANTASTIC. That's the twist. Very spoopy.

    MADHERO: Woah. I thought it uses the US Grading system. My mistake I guess. We could talk about that, but lets go for anticipated sequel first.



    DIRECTOR: Matthew Vaughn (X-Men: First Class, Kingsman)

    STARRING: Taron Egerton, Channing Tatum, Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Mark Strong, Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Pedro Pascal

    SYNOPSIS: The agents of Kingsman (Egerton, Strong) head to the United States to join forces with Statesman (Tatum, Bridges, Pascal), Kingsman's American counterpart, after Kingsman's headquarters is destroyed by "The Golden Circle".

    LARRY: Not sure how to feel about this one.

    STICKMAN: Y'know, I want to be excited. But I'm getting the impression this might be a let down.

    MADHERO: Aw yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, excited for a Matthew Vaughn sequel. Usually a dangerous game

    LARRY: The last sequel wasn't so good.

    MADHERO: Well, you see. He didn't direct Kick Ass 2, but he did direct this, and Vaughn hasn't made a bad movie yet, so I'm hoping he works his magic here

    STICKMAN: This has had weirdly not much promotion for what should be a big release, and its release kinda jumped about a lot before this point. I'm a little concerned, hopefully that's unfounded, but  yeah....muted anticipation .

    LARRY: Well yeah you can thank a shitty first trailer for that.

    MADHERO: Besides the Sinatra trailer, the trailers haven't done much for me, but I hope that's just cause they're saving their best stuff. The church scene wasn't in the original trailer

    STICKMAN: I liked that trailer tbh. But beyond Hallie Berry getting shitfaced at Comic Con, it hasn't really been getting that much attention.

    LARRY: Anyone else kinda upset that Firth being alive is just a nonchalant detail in the sequel?

    STICKMAN: Well we haven't seen it yet so I can't comment.

    LARRY: I mean he's in both trailers.

    STICKMAN: Felt inevitable, s'what got bums in seats here in the UK I think. I remember someone in the audience laughing at every line he had.

    LARRY: Didn't need to know he was back. But okay, whatever

    MADHERO: It looks like fun, and what more do you need

    STICKMAN: I want it to great, it looks fun, but I'm bracing myself for disappointment. WE'LL SEE.


    DIRECTOR: Charlie Bean, Paul Fisher, Bob Logan (Tron Uprising)

    STARRING: Dave Franco, Justin Theroux, Michael Pena, Kumail Nanjiani, Abbi Jacobson, Zach Woods, Fred Armisen, Jackie Chan, Olivia Munn

    SYNOPSIS: The battle for Ninjago City calls to action young Master Builder Lloyd (Frano), aka the Green Ninja. Along with his friends, they must defeat evil warlord Garmadon (Theroux), who also happens to be Lloyd's dad.

    LARRY: Aight, THIS is my jam.

    MADHERO: Oh....... I guess this is out soonish as well

    STICKMAN: Again, dunno what to think. It's a LEGO Movie and the last two have been great. But this is also Ninjago and I have no idea what that is. Also where did this COME FROM. Feels like LEGO Batman came out YESTERDDAAYY.

    MADHERO: I really liked the Lego Movie and Lego Batman, but considering I don't really care about Ninjago, this is leaving me really cold.

    LARRY: I'm on the opposite end. I didn't know what Ninjago was and this trailer is selling me.

    STICKMAN: The animation looks nice as usual, and the action scenes look fun, but the jokes weren't doing it for me in the trailer, and I have no attachment to the franchise sooooo. I'll go see if good reviews probs, but not otherwise. I can guarantee it's gonna try and make you cry cuz all animated films gotta do that now, even ones about LEGO Ninjas.

    MADHERO: Like, even the trailers themselves aren't really selling me besides the animation looking nice. Also the voice cast is good, but otherwise I'm rather apathetic towards it.

    LARRY: Man I am quite the odd man out today.

    STICKMAN: You are an odd man indeed, Larry Fried. I mean, it doesn't look awful. I'd like it to be gooooood, but I'm not excited either.


    DIRECTOR: Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Noah)

    DIRECTOR: Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, Noah)

    STARRING: Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeifer, Kristin Wiig, Domhnall Gleeson, Brian Gleeson

    SYNOPSIS: A young woman's (Lawrence) tranquil life with her husband (Bardem) at their remote country home is challenged by a mysterious couple (Harris, Pfeiffer) who arrive and lodge with them.


    MADHERO: Ahahahahahaha, Aronofsky you beautiful psycho

    LARRY: So. Pumped.

    STICKMAN: I guess you could say he has…. a beautiful mind

    MADHERO: That's..... not his movie

    STICKMAN: Quiet you

    LARRY: I'm ready to get fucked up, not gonna lie

    STICKMAN: I was ready too but then I heard it's poopy, so I dunno. Critics are polarised, audiences seem to hate it.

    MADHERO: So, this advertises itself as some sort of weird horror/thriller with big actors like Javier Bardem and Jennifer Lawrence. BUT SURPRISE, YOU'RE GETTING SOME ARTHOUSE SHIT!

    STICKMAN: Apparently it's all style and no direct substance. Gotta MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHAT IT MEANS. Which is arthouse for it means nothing.

    LARRY: ...okay ya know Aranofsky is well-known for being very artsy.

    MADHERO: Which is why this film has a F Cinemascore. Its divided critics, but audiences are pretty unanimous with their hate

    LARRY: What were people actually expecting???

    MADHERO: Most people don't even know who Darren Aronofsky is, other than that he's now dating Jennifer Lawrence (which hey, good for him)

    STICKMAN: Nicolas Winding Refn is breathing a sigh of relief right now.

    MADHERO: I think most people don't like it, being the wise man that I am, is because they were misled into what it was through the marketing, and its a really unpleasant film as well, so y'know, double whammy

    STICKMAN: I dunno if I'm down for a film that's both unpleasant and nonsensical. Makes it sound a bit like ERASERHEAD.

    LARRY: I'm willing to give this a chance. I wanna see what goes on in the mind of Aranofsky.

    MADHERO: Aronofsky is one of my favorite directors, and I think I might be ready now that I know what I'm getting into (well, vaguely).


    DIRECTOR: Michael Cuesta (Roadie, Kill the Messenger)

    STARRING: Dylan O’Brien, Michael Keaton, Sanaa Lathan, Taylor Kitsch

    SYNOPSIS: Mitch Rapp (O'Brien) lost his girlfriend to a terrorist attack just as they were engaged. Seeking revenge, he is enlisted and trained by Cold War veteran Stan Hurley (Keaton). Together they will stop a mysterious operative, nicknamed "Ghost" (Kitsch), intent on starting a world war in the Middle East.

    STCKMAN: And now we're into bland action movie territory.

    MADHERO: I've seen this described as The Bourne Brotilmatum. Also its really weird to see the Maze Runner kid all grown up and shit.

    STICKMAN: Oh dear.

    LARRY: ...I mean, if I were to go see this for any reason, it would be Michael Keaton. Otherwise, bleh.

    MADHERO: Its like..... as an foreigner, despite also having an American passport but that's an whole other story, seeing this type of weird patriotism that translates into I'LL GO KILL ALL THE TERRORISTS BRAH is just..... really gross?

    LARRY: Fair point.

    MADHERO: American patriotism as translated into disposable action films always kinda bug me, but that's just me.

    STICKMAN: This film will fall into the abyss of bland action thrillers. Especially the abyss of sub par Bourne-clones. Much like Jason Bourne did.

    MADHERO: Anyway this movie looks meh. Apparently there's like 15 of these books, so I can't wait for American Assassin goes Hawaiian

    STICKMAN: Fuck me sideways

    MADHERO: I'd rather not


    DIRECTOR: Simon Verhoeven (Männerherzen)

    STARRING: Alycia Debnam-Carey, William Moseley, Connor Paolo, Brit Morgan, Liesl Ahlers

    SYNOPSIS: A popular college student (Debham-Carey) graciously accepts a social outcast's (Ahlers) online friend request, but soon finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends.


    MADHERO: This feels like a movie I've already talked about a million times already and yet only now is coming out.

    LARRY: Honestly, Unfriended looked kinda dumb. THIS looks REEEEEALLLY DUMB. We're kinda on a downward spiral.

    STICKMAN: Came out in April here, as it turns out. Which is why it looks so familiar.

    MADHERO: Can't all be winners. This has been pushed back a bunch of times, and now here we are.

    LARRY: Looks like it's chasing a new "social media horror" trend that wasn't even a trend. And it looks stupid.

    STICKMAN: It's just laughably bad looking. To the point where it's almost tempting to see it.

    MADHERO: It does seem like a fun thing to watch while drunk

    LARRY: Nah, I'm saving that laughably bad ticket for Happy Death Day. This can kiss my ass.

    STICKMAN: You'd need to be off your face to enjoy it, I think. That's a risk I'm willing to take.

    MADHERO: I can't wait for the horror film featuring the dancing hot dog


    DIRECTOR: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Haris (Little Miss Sunshine, Ruby Sparks)

    STARRING: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough, Sarah Silverman, Alan Cumming, Bill Pullman

    SYNOPSIS: The true story of the 1973 tennis match between World number one Billie Jean King (Stone) and ex-champ and serial hustler Bobby Riggs (Carell).

    LARRY: Ah. Oscar season truly has begun.

    MADHERO: O hey, Steve Carell/Emma Stone reunion. That's neat.

    STICKMAN: Sports Biopic Comedy Drama. What a time to be alive.

    LARRY: That's a mouthful

    STICKMAN: It sure exists. And predictably for an Oscar Baiting BIOPIC, it's insanely SERVICEABLE. And doesn't suck but also isn’t great either.

    LARRY: With these two headlining it you'd expect a lot of buzz. This seems to be flying below the radar for most.

    MADHERO: Reports from festivals seem to suggest its probably not going to get Oscars, but ultimately a ok and good movie, which is fine by me since its made by the directors behind Little MIss Sunshine

    STICKMAN: It's a shame we don't get more exceptional biopics because when they click together, it can be magic. Just need Aaron Sorkin on board. Then you're set.

    LARRY: I mean there are plenty of other biopics the year has to offer.

    MADHERO: Apparently the Borg/McEnroe movie is also about servicable, so I guess we won't be seeing anymore tennis movies.

    STICKMAN: Did you just make a pun.


    MADHERO: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe. Anyway, that about wraps up our movie section, but we ain't done just yet, cause now its time for MOVIE OF THE WEEK!

    STICKMAN: New balls please. Also WOOAOAOAAAHHHH

    MADHERO: I'd LOVE to, but I have to drop a DEUCE first, and do this part of the show.

    STICKMAN: Don't you meeaaaaann DCEUs. Since...you're doing...y'know...

    LARRY: Ohhhhhh snap Stix.

    STICKMAN: I know, I know. I'm a scamp.


    MADHERO: So speaking of the DCEU..... god what a fucking amirite? But hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day, and in this case its Wonder Woman. Now I did not see this film in theaters despite all the positive reviews and hype surrounding it, if only cause it came out a month after the US release and by then I was kinda done hearing about it. But hey, we're here now, it was the most successfull movie of the summer, and wouldn't you know, its actually pretty good.

    Now I don't think its great (the fact WB is considering an Oscar campaign seems weird) but I gotta say I'm impressed. Essentially a fusion between Thor and the first Captain America, what really helps this movie is how Gal Gadot absolutely nails this role. You buy her as both a Amazonian warrior as well as a genuinely kind person. Its so refreshing to see a superhero do good things simply because she's good and wants to help. Its what Superman should've been instead of what they went with. Its a bit too long, and the ending battle is kinda boring and disappointing, but I had a genuinely good time with it, and its good to say that with a DCEU film.

    LARRY: Yeah so this is a solid romp.

    STICKMAN: WB are giving it an Oscar campaign because they're riding the good faith as far as it'll take them before Justice League brings them crashing back down, no doubt. I have yet to see it, skipped it at the cinema due to lack of DC faith, but I'll check it out on DVD when it lands here in a couple weeks.

    LARRY: Eh, let them have their fun. Eventually it'll be a futile cause and we can all get back on the DC hate-train.

    MADHERO: O definitely, but I can see why they're riding this wave, cause its a big kahuna or whatever surf lingo uses to describe big waves.

    LARRY: Yes, it's a success no matter how you slice it...unlessyou'retalkingaboutthethirdactbutwhatever. And hey, Gadot AND Jenkins are both signed on for the sequel so, hip hip hooray.


    STICKMAN: No spoilers DUDE. I want to watch the perfectly decent but overhyped comic book movie without those sick spoilers.

    MADHERO: The 3rd act is definitely the weakest part. My favorite was probably them in Themyscira cause Robin Wright is such a fucking badass. And its funny, I never thought Gadot was that good a actress, but she really does turn into Wonder Woman in this film.

    LARRY: Yes she has a conviction that impressed me.

    STICKMAN: So that's it huh, she's some kinda...Wonder Woman.

    LARRY: But also give some credit to Chris Pine. He's giving a career high-point here.(edited)

    MADHERO: They have great chemistry, yeah. He's really good as well. Maybe not career high (that's Hell or High Water) but its up there. Anyway, what's your Movie of the Week, Sticky?

    STICKMAN: HooOOoo, WELLLLLL. I spent all my money on Metroid this week so I didn't make it to the cinema to see one of the many DRASTICALLY VARYING IN QUALITY MOVIES currently available, but I did catch up on a film I missed out on earlier in the year on the ol' rental shebang, and that film was Colossal...which whilst far from a COLOSSAL SUCCESSSSSSS ahOOoOooo, was still pretty good.

    Basically, Anne Hathaway is an alcoholic party girl who gets dumped by Mr InEverythingRightNow and returns to her quaint childhood town to rethink her life plans. Slight catch though, there's a giant fucking monster destroying South Korea. And SOOMEHOOOWWW, the two things are connected, and the hows and whys? If you really care about those, I'd give this film a pass because it does a pretty crappy job of explaining the details. What it does do, however, is offer a fun and unique spin on both the human dramatic exploits of the film, and the kaiju tropes we've come to see in many recent blockbusters. The film is part dark comedy, part drama, part...monster movie...I guess. It's uneven and only really finds its footing in the last act, but it's entertaining and enjoyable throughout, with some fun creature designs and memorable, creative  sequences. I didn't think it was the best thing ever, but I had fun with it, so that's pretty GOOD.

    LARRY: So I liked this film, though it's certainly an oddity. When I finished it my first time through, I honestly add no words to describe it.

    MADHERO: I haven't seen this movie yet, but I think its probably for the best it doesn't explain how those things are connected, cause any explanation is going to be fucking stupider than the actual things

    STICKMAN: Well the problem is it kinda attempts to explain some aspects but maybe not the parts worth explaining.

    LARRY: Well okay it kiiiiiiiiiiinda gives reasons for things but the reasons are stupid and one of the few elements that holds the film back. Like there's two shots in particular that annoy the shit out of me. Because they give an explanation for something that makes it even MORE unrealistic.

    STICKMAN: Also it's not a particularly funny comedy, and there's also a character shift that seems sudden and drastic.

    MADHERO: Anywaaaaaaaaay, it does look like one of those films that's up my alley. Reminds me a bit of The Voices with Ryan Reynolds. A movie I may not love, but respect for being so bonkers

    STICKMAN: It's not quite as sinister as that, from what I recall you saying. But it's pretty dark at times.

    LARRY: Hathaway and Sudeikis are great in the film as the two leads. And the CGI is excellent considering the budget. And there are some genuinely funny moments.

    STICKMAN: I really enjoyed the last sequence though, even if there's one massive plot hole it just ignores but HEY HO.

    MADHERO: Well I'll see for myself, cause I'll definitely check this movie out soon enough.

    STICKMAN: You do that, HEY LARRY. WHAT SHIT YOU WATCH. Bet....IT...was something...terrible.

    LARRY: Now, we’ve established loud and clear that I am NOT a fan of horror films usually. I tend to stay away from the genre for a variety of reasons, oneofwhichbeingthatIamacolossalwuss BUT NORMALLY it’s because jump scares and gore just isn’t my thing. But, after hearing about all of this hubbub regarding the remake of Stephen King’s “IT”, I figured that it was about time I saddle up and take it for a spin. Believe it or not, I found myself enjoying it.

    I find the original mini-series to be incredibly cheesy, and thus outdated, so I was originally taken aback by how cheesy this film tends to be as well. In fact, almost the entirety of the first act’s scares were funnier to me than terrifying. But, unlike the original, the cheese does not hold this film back, in fact it is this humor that gives it a playfulness and energy that keeps it moving from set piece to set piece. It also helps that there are some genuinely scary moments, mostly stemming from the interpersonal relationships of the children, who are all excellent and charming as hell. But it also helps that our new Pennywise, Bill Skarsgard, is killing it in this career-defining performance; his voice is kinda terrible (now you know why he didn’t talk in the marketing), but his presence and design far surpass this issue. By the time the second half is in full swing, it’s one hell of a ride that becomes genuinely disturbing, and I really enjoyed it. It’s Stand By Me meets Nightmare on Elm Street, and that alone should sell you.



    STICKMAN: Glad you quit CLOWNIN around and went and saw one this year.

    MADHERO: It really is a big phenomenon, so I understand you wanting to see what the big deal was. Being the wuss that you are? How scary did you find it? And how many times did you jump at a jumpscare

    STICKMAN: I haven't seen this and don't really have much interest, and I hear this is also more of a buddy romp than a horror film in most respects, but the popularity makes it feel somewhat required viewing somewhat.

    LARRY: As I said, I was laughing more than I was scared. Perhaps that's a coping mechanism, but there are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments, including a certain scene involving blood and a bathroom shown in trailers. As far as jump-scares, most of them weren't anything special, but there's one that really got me.

    STICKMAN: Jump scares aren't scaaary they're just looooud. They can be fun though in moderation.

    LARRY: There's one that is genuinely great. Mostly because the best jump scares actually involve something happening and not just a fakeout.

    MADHERO: Iiiiiiiiinteresting. I do like how it isn't just a full on frightfest, but its definitely something I have to see for myself.


    LARRY: I mean, seeing Pennywise dance ALONE is worth ticket price. It's one of the funniest/disturbing moments you'll see in a theater. Not even kidding.

    STICKMAN: Funsturbing is a good combo for any horror film.


    MADHERO: Well, that about wraps it up. Join us next week as we tackle the cybernetic dystopia that is 2017..... oh sorry I meant 2049, Tom Cruise delivering COCAINE! and...... ponies?

    LARRY: ....the fuck.

    STICKMAN: My Little Pony Movie? We really are living in a dystopian  nightmare reality. Night...maaaare? 


    LARRY: UrrrgghhhHHHHHH

    MADHERO: The real horror starts here. See ya then.

  • Conseqences...

    2 days ago


    Just like in Season 15, the laws of Fig Newton hold true.

    For every action, there is an equal (but some times complex) reaction.

  • Song of the Day - 18th September 17

    1 day ago

    Joe FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Eighty7/RT Radio

    Our Lord and Saviour  raised_hands 

  • Hey, I'm th featured user.

    2 days ago

    caseybutler half flannel

    This is too much pressure.

  • First day as a First

    21 hours ago


    Thought I'd post a journal.  I've been wanting to become a first for awhile now but I never really did it.  I finally decided to to see the boys get fucked at the lets play family reunion.  Looking forward to all the great content

  • Pizza

    1 day ago


    I know I just complained about pizza but last week I had it every. single. day.  

    And so far this week is following that same pattern. 

  • Fly or drive

    1 day ago

    gi_goku Keeper of Tacos

    Since I have decided that I plan on going to RTX, I debating whether I fly down to Austin, or do I drive with my next car down? Both have their merits and drawbacks. I was planning on taking an entire week off for RTX anyways. What do you people think?

    Also I will probably have to get roommates.

  • DEATH ANALYSIS: The Tragic Heroine With The Power to Kill a God!

    1 day ago



    1. Name: Noel Vermillion
    2. Birth Name: Mu-12
    3. Age:  5 Years Old (Chronology), Unknown (Physically) 
    4. Height: (Noel) - 157 cm (5'1.8"), (Mu-12) - 157 cm (5'2")
    5. Weight: (Noel) - 48 kg (105.8 lbs), (Mu-12) - 48 kg (106 lbs)
    6. Blood Type: A
    7. B/W/H: 73 cm (29) / 59 cm (23) / 93 cm (36)
    8. Former First Lieutenant of the NOL
    9. Founder of Pretty Detective Team: Remix Heart
    10. Eye of the Azure
    11. Also known as The Origin and Saya
    12. Professional Gunslinger
    13. Early Graduate by 6 months from the Military Academy
    14. Likes Really Cute Things Like Pandas
    15. Has A Fear of Bugs Especially Ones With Lots of Legs
    16. Future Occupation: A nun at Celica A Mercury's Church with Lambda-11


    Born as Dimensional Boundary Contact Medium No. 12 in the 5th Hierarchical City of Ibukido in The Ikaruga Federation on December 25th 2194 by Sector Seven, Mu-12 was being tested by the scientists in order to access the power of the Azure deep within the Boundary as they couldn't survive on the other side of it and that's why Mu and the Murakumo Units were created because they can only survive in the Boundary.

    But with all scientific discoveries it has backfired horribly as the Takamagahara System, a group of AIs created by man to manage the world, launched a powerful beam that came from the Nox Nyctores, Gigant: Takemikazuchi which destroyed the lab and everyone in it because it was revealed that the experiment was an attempt to create a monster known as The Black Beast and they were planning on using Mu to create the monster to win against the Novus Orbis Librarium during the Ikaruga Civil War. Now normally in some timelines, this act would kill Mu but in the other ones including the one in which the BlazBlue series is set in, Mu survived inside her cocoon in which The Origin basically the Girl who first made contact with the Master Unit, Amaterasu had used the blast cause by Takemikazuchi as a catalyst since she was waiting for an opportunity to recreate herself in Mu but unfortunately, Mu doesn't remember anything that's happened before she was finished being created or The Origin's involvement with her creation. So with no memory of who and what she is, Mu was then later discovered by Edgar and Claire Vermillion who then processed to adopted and renamed her, “Noel Vermillion" to raise as their own child. (Gee she's like Superman and Goku except they're aliens from dying planets and not artificial humans.)

    A few years later after her adoption into the Vermillion household, Noel's parents were being shun out by the NOL, it was then that she joined the Military Academy to help out her parents and keep them within the NOL. (Yeah just sign up for a school being run by the same people who's planning on banishing your family in the first place.) When she arrived at the Military Academy, Noel became best friends with her classmates, Makoto Nanaya, Tsubaki Yayoi and Carl Clover and after graduating 6 months before her fellow classmates, Noel was listed in the NOL as a lieutenant to Major Jin Kisaragi but he didn't like Noel that much or he'd treated her like dirt because she reminded him of his own sister, Saya.

    Not soon after on New Year's Eve in the year 2199, Jin went to go after the “Grim Reaper" (Otherwise known as Ragna The Bloodedge) in the 13th Hierarchical City of Kagatsuchi (Wow what a way to leave your job on New Year's Eve just to chase a criminal in another city.) With her heart heavy with worry, Noel was assigned by the NOL to return Jin back to his post.


    Noel's weapons of choice are twin handguns called the Nox Nyctores, Arcus Diabolus: Bolverk (Translated as Demon Guns: Bolverk) and they've appeared to her when she was attacked by a monster in the forest that she always played in when she was a child. Bolverk is even powerful enough to shoot through a solid wall plus Noel can even transform Bolverk into Thor which is a missile launcher with a shark's face on the missile and even into Fenrir which is a powerful mini gun. (Damn a chick holding a mini gun and a missile launcher. Now that's freaking awesome!)


    Noel is classified as a speed character in the BlazBlue series as she can get around very quickly on the battlefield as she shoots her bullets from Bolverk. (Also she can see into a person's memories just by touching them.) As the “Eye of The Azure", Noel can also see the distant and recent memories of a person just by having someone touch her or if she touches someone else just like she did with Tsubaki, Carl, Hazama and Lambda-11 in BlazBlue Continuum Shift (Wait which version of that game since there's been three versions of the same game put together?) It was all of them. (Ok thanks since Continuum Shift had two more remakes after the original game was released.) 

    Also Noel can create an artificial landscape called The Realm which can take the form of the 13th Hierarchical City of Kagutsuchi and Noel's managed to do it while she was sleeping plus Noel being a replica of Saya, has shown that she has inherited some of Saya's memories from her childhood, although the memories appear to be far more prominent in her than any of the 11 Murakumo Units known thus far but as it turns out that after regaining her memories after reuniting with Mu-12 during the events of BlazBlue Central Fiction, it was revealed that Noel actually has half of Saya's soul while the other half was inside of Hades Izanami because Noel is also known as the girl who first contacted The Master Unit, Amaterasu aka The Origin herself and because of this, Noel gained the ability to fuse with the other pieces of The Origin's Soul and essentially become reborn as Saya herself once all of the fragments are within Noel which included Mu-12, Hades Izanami and The Girl inside of the Master Unit well except for Lambda-11 and Nu-13 because both of them became their own identities and Noel couldn't fuse with either of them. In other words, it's kinda like in Red vs. Blue and how the AI fragment, Sigma wanted to gather his fellow AI fragments to become a perfect AI but in order to do that, Sigma brainwashed and manipulated Agent Maine which turned him into the cold murdering psychopath known as The Meta and he went to hunt down his fellow Freelancers and stealing their AIs and Armor Enhancements but in Noel's case, it was just recovering her memories.


    Bolverk can use a raw energy source called Seithr (which was the remains of the Black Beast) which Noel can use very powerful attacks like her Distortion Drives, Zero-Gun: Fenrir and Bullet Storm ⇒ Zero-Gun: Thor as well as her Astral Heat, Valkyrie Veil.

    Fighting Style

    Noel's fighting style is a very unique martial art called the Gun Fu which focuses on close-quarters gunplay which is very popular in Hong Kong action films and western films are influenced by this fighting style. Just look at Dante from Devil May Cry since he uses this fighting style as well.

    Move Set

    Noel's a master gunslinger and she is fairly fast plus she has good range when she fights her opponents in the BlazBlue series like her unique Drive, The Chain Revolver aka "The Extremely Spamable Attack In The History of Fighting Games!" which she's capable of pulling extremely high-damaging combos plus her Overdrive, The Chain Quasar can increase the speed of her attacks like her famous Optic Barrel which can shoot though a solid wall. Her Revolver Blast shoots four bullets as she twirls in midair. The Silencer can shoot a downed opponent and can be repeated and the Spring Raid allows her to kick her opponent into the air. She can even cross over her opponents with Assault Though, the Muzzle Filler allows her to flip forward and catch a standing opponent with her legs and she can use a large energy blast from Bolverk with the Bloom Trigger. Plus Bolverk can also turn into a shotgun when she uses her Chamber Shot and it's the closest attack Noel has to Ragna's Hell's Fang plus it's really good for knocking back an opponent. 

    But if Noel wants to kick it up a notch then she can use her Zero-Gun: Sleipnir, an Exceed Accel that after she uses when she's in her Overdrive state which she uses her Zero-Gun: Thor on her opponent before transforming Bolverk into a huge Railgun that she can fire to chase down her foe being rocketed by the recently fired Thor or she can combo it with her Chamber Shot and Zero-Gun: Fenrir along with the moves that I mentioned before to deal massive damage to her foe but only if she's in her Active Flow. Now here's a video that showcases Noel's moveset from Chrono Phantasma.


    Now you all think that I've told you everything that Noel has on the battlefield right? Nope! After Hazama aka Yuki Terumi told her that she wasn't human to begin with as he called her a puppet and a doll, Noel's emotions ran berserk and broke Bolverk since he revealed to her that they were limiters just suppressing her emotions thus allowing Terumi to smelt Noel into the Cauldron or in other words, Terumi pretty much mind-raped Noel as she transformed into her True Form, Mu-12 aka The Sword of the Godslayer, Kusanagi with the simple goal for Terumi to destroy the Master Unit, Amaterasu (which is pretty much the Goddess of the Sun and Universe in Japanese legend.) and end the world.

    This form is deadly on the battlefield and if you're the unlucky fool to face Noel in her true form then you can kiss your life goodbye as she can kill a god single-handedly (Damn I don't think that a young and sweet innocent girl would be able to kill powerful deities and immortals like the Elder Gods from Mortal Kombat) and with the help of Rachel Alucard, she can now control and transform into Mu-12 at her own will during the events of BlazBlue Chrono Phantasma as she wanted to save her best friend Tsubaki from Izanami. (Well you got to do what you got to do to save your friends even resorting to facing your true self in order to accomplish that goal.) Also Mu's armor is made up of a special metal called the Hihirokane which is lighter than gold but harder than diamonds and yet she can move and jump in it despite Mu showing off a lot of her skin when she enters her Battle Mode. Also fun fact this legendary alloy of Japanese folklore was once wielded by Jubei's brother, Tomonori who used it when he fought against Terumi in the manga, BlazBlue Phase Shift 1 and it was used to create the armors during the smeltings for Mu-12 and her successor unit, Nu-13 and the golden crest on Hakumen's chest. Mu also wields the Nox Nyctores, Lux Sanctus: Murakumo (translated as God Bright: Gathering Clouds) which can allow her to summon 8 telepathic swords which she can defend against attacks or just send them out to chase after her foes and is the most common weapon of the Murakumo Units.

    As Noel transforms into her true form, Mu's got some unique abilities that she couldn't normally do when she was originally Noel like her Drive, Steins Gunner which Mu can summon small orbs that she can place anywhere on the battlefield to plan out her strategy. Her Overdrive, Steins Geiser can make the lasers that fire out of her gunners become stronger. In addition Mu's attacks can be deadly if you're not too careful. She can launch a laser at her opponents with Totsuka Blade and if she has her gunners out on the field she use this laser to bounce off them and hits her opponents. Mu can even use a speedy projectile with Arrows of Heaven. Her Origins allows Mu form a powerful barrier and can even knock her opponents back. Not to mention my favorite move that Mu can do is none other than Sword of Decimation which she can use her blades to summon a giant sword from underneath her opponent's feet. Mu can use Ikutachi Blade which she does a forward diagonal leap and slashes behind her foe with her eight blades and can even kick them into the air vertically skyward and she can even make her gunners self-destruct with Divine Wrath of the Heavens or she can send her gunners to charge at her opponents with Tokotachi Blade. But that's not the only thing that Mu-12 can do because her Distortion Drives are very powerful like her Blessed Mirror which can draw power from the Totsuka Blade and it can be amplified depending on how many Steins have been placed. Her Wisdom of the Divines can bind her opponent as she gets above then to launch 8 swords to strike down at her foe at once but if Mu wants to get serious, then her Exceed Accel, Pillar of Light, which after entering her Overdrive allows her to slash at her foe before having her blades circling around them before being blasted by a pillar of light right underneath their feet.

    But Mu's ultimate attack is her Astral Heat, Sword of the Godslayer which she can trap her opponent in a barrier as she flies up and transforms her eight blades into eight giant swords as they strike down into the ground and makes a huge explosion that engulfs the opponent or she can transform into a giant sword herself and slash at her opponent. Now just like i did with Noel's move set I'm going to put a video that shows Mu-12's moveset.


    As the Eye of the Azure, Noel has some flaws to her character as she has the smallest breast size out of the starting female cast of the BlazBlue series and she's not that fond of it as in a few scenes in Calamity Trigger as she's been called a young man or a boy by Bang Shishigami and Lacking Lady by previous Death Battle champion, Taokaka. (Well that's just mean just saying that to a girl.)

    Also if Bolverk is taken away from her, Noel will be completely and utterly helpless when striped of her weapons. Plus she's not that good of a cook as seen in her Gag Ending in Continuum Shift as she pretty much kills everyone who tastes her cooking well except Hazama and Mai Natsume in the magna, BlazBlue Remix Heart (Well the first time because Mai's tongue is super sensitive that allowed her to eat Noel's cooking but she couldn't eat normal food.)

    Noel's also the definition of the "shrinking violet" archetype as she is also shy, clumsy and gets worked up over the smallest things like her very small breasts for example and at one time during her time at the Military Academy, Noel accidentally swallowed a watermelon seed as she got Tsubaki, Makoto, Mai and Kajun all lost at the eighth level of the Academy due to her inability to read a map but not soon after, the watermelon seed that Noel swallowed grew out of her belly button after inhaling a large amount of Seithr as the sprout attacked the group and it went looking for the Evolution Grimoire while using Noel as it's host which is strangely weird now that I think about it but it actually happened during Chapter 3 of BlazBlue: Remix Heart. She also apologizes for every thing that she does even if it's not necessary and also Noel has a major bad case of identity crisis as she was told by Terumi that she's a doll before smelting her in the Cauldron to become Mu-12. Plus she does have that habit of being the Damsel in Distress as she gets kidnapped or ambushed by someone a few times, once was when she battled Hazama, who told her that she wasn't human as her emotions went berserk which broke Bolverk, which gave him the opportunity to smelt her into the Cauldron to become Mu in Continuum Shift while in Chrono Phantasma, she was ambushed by Relius Clover and Nu-13 in which she was forcefully synchronized with Nu, an act which transforms Nu into a second Successor of the Azure, albeit in status only and then in Central Fiction, she was kidnapped once again by Terumi, who just reclaimed the Susano'o Unit because it was actually Terumi's original body as the god, Susano'o in Japanese legend as he choked Noel into unconsciousness and then processed to absorb her into himself and in doing so renders Terumi completely immune to Phenomenon Intervention, rendering him almost completely invincible.

    But you could ask yourself "Could anything kill Noel?" actually yes but only by special means because she's immortal after getting the power of the Eye and because normal weapons could just go right though her as in Central Fiction, Hibiki and Hakumen tried to cut her down but it didn't work even though Hibiki kept trying to do it even after Kokonoe told him that he could not be able to do it which I kinda question Hibiki's sanity. There's only two things that can fully kill her. The first thing that can kill Noel would have to be....The Zero-Type: Izayoi and it's ability to use the Immortal Breaker which of course can kill any being outside of Logic so you could say that the Sword is like a Kryptonite weapon that Lex Luthor can use in his Warsuit when he battles Superman but the second thing is destroying her vessel with Kushinada's Lynchpin, which is a large nail that is able to shut the entrance to the Boundary.


    Well even with all of her tragic moments in the BlazBlue series, Noel has accomplished a lot of impressive feats on her own.

    1. Having the highest of synchronization rates with Armagus ever recorded at her entrance exam to the Military Academy.

    2. She fought against Nu-13 to a standstill

    3. She saved Ragna from being killed by Nu at the climax of Calamity Trigger thus shattering the endless time loops.

    4. She saved Tsubaki with the help of Makoto and Jin.

    5. She even fought against the Nox Nyctores Gigant: Take-Mikazuchi with the help of both Ragna and Jin in the climax of Chrono Phantasma.

    6. She managed to fight off both Hakumen and Jin when she was Mu-12 in the climax of Continuum Shift.

    7. She also managed to survive a fight against Ragna when he was turned into a Black Beast-like state by Hades Izanami only escaping with minor wounds when she transformed into Mu-12.

    8. Also managed to not die when she was swallowed by the Black Beast when she was in her Mu-12 state and Jin fought against Berserk Ragna between Chrono Phantasma and Central Fiction.

    9. Killed Hades Izanami as Mu-12 during the events of Central Fiction.

    10. Absorbed the Souls of Mu-12, Hades Izanami and The Origin to be fully reborn as Saya.

    But if that's not crazy enough for you, she's even helped saved the multiverse with previous Death Battle combatants Mai Shiranui and Ivy Valentine in the Japanese only RPG for the PSP, Queen's Gate Spiral Chaos and all the experiences that Noel has gone though with her life even after accepting Mu-12 as herself, she has developed a new level of self-confidence and determination to protect her friends.

    Potential Opponents

    Aigis (Persona 3 and Persona 4 Arena)

    Fiora (Xenoblade Chronicles)

    Well I hope you enjoy my first Death Battle blog and I hope I can make another one in the future.

  • RSWU 297: What Are We Screaming About

    2 days ago

    James Volume III

    Twitter seems to be in a serious tizzy right now thanks to Day 5. Too bad I, an update, am incapable of watching digital television shows and am therefore unable to respond in kind. But hey, that doesn't stop us from delivering a sweet, sweet Weekly Update to you lovely folks.


    We've got a good lineup for you all this week. Starting Tuesday at 8 PM CT, Movie Night's taking us back to 'Nam with Full Metal Jacket!


    Next on the docket is going to be an Open Mic Music Night this Saturday starting at 7:30 PM CT! Come play Africa and Bet On It. Or don't. If you don't, someone else will. That's just how it works.


    Finally, next Sunday the 24th starting at 7 PM CT, we've got Watch-A-Mania for you with WWE No Mercy! It is incredibly challenging finding relevant gifs for this but I couldn't pass this one up.


    That's gonna be our roundup. We hope you all have a fantastic week!


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